Day 81 – Closure is getting closer and closer

I am having an amazing day today and not because anything out of the ordinary happened, but just because this is the last day of July. I know I have been insisting on this matter too much lately, but I truly believe that from tomorrow on, life will be much better. Also this month of August, I am having a good friend visiting Florence, and she is bringing to the CrisisArt Festival that takes place in Arezzo, her amazing play called Plan B, which you have read about in her interview here. I will fill in all the details during the next couple of days. So, even if this month sucks too, at least I will have the joy of seeing her play and hang out with her for coffee, catching up and gossiping about the differences between our two worlds. It’s strange how you can connect with people and be able to stay in touch even if distance can be a bitch sometimes(to be read always). Technology certainly makes things a lot easier and allows you to pretend that you are having a coffee with someone close to your heart, but far away, or to ignore the huge time zone difference and pretend that it’s normal that you are living in the future for the other one. It seems that ever since I have been living on Mars (my pet name for Florence), this situation has happened a lot and keeps on happening. The funny thing is that I am talking about...

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Day 80 – Ephia’s best friend and my never ending project

I spent almost my entire day concentrating on my daughter and trying to ignore everything that is wrong in my life right now. So, we woke up, washed the dishes together, burst into song while doing it and then got dressed to have our usual cappuccino at our favorite bar from around the corner. Ephia has a lot of friends on this street: the people from the bakery, the people from the tobacco shop, the people from the pharmacy and her favorite, the family that owns the bar, especially their son, the bartender. He is the kind of guy that every kid loves and he knows exactly what to say and how to say it. Because he knows and talks to her ever since she was hidden inside of me, he became her best friend and drags me every day to the bar, just to see him and give him the perfect smile and “Ciao!”. There are days when he is not around and when we get to the door, she begins searching for him with her eyes and when she realizes that he is not there, her lower lip starts to tremble, her chin gets pushed into her chest and then she takes my hand asking to leave the bar. Yup, that seems like real friendship to me. The day has flown normally and pleasantly and it took a fun turn when we went out, downtown of Florence, just us girls. We had ice cream, starred at the buildings and...

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Day 79 – Soap opera news, prisoners who have priority and the funeral of my computer

My phone is buzzing on the table. I look at the screen and I pick it up with enthusiasm. “Hi dad! What’s up? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”  I hear an almost imperceptible sigh on the other end and then: “Umm, I’m fine. I had some horrible couple of months and news flash…ummm…you know…I have to tell you something…” What came next was harvest from soap operas and thrown into my ears. I need it him to shut up and I began cursing my enthusiasm of answering the phone, but I had to continue listening. “Please, don’t be mad, I don’t want you to be mad. It just seemed to me that you had no interest to know about this ever. Are you still there? Are you still mad?” I look at Ephia who is enjoying her grown-up fork and shoves it in some pasta, then with a precise move, into her mouth. “No dad, I am not mad. I just need some time to digest this. It’s okay, don’t worry. We’ll talk soon, give me some time.” I hear the same sigh as before and he gives up cheering me up and says goodbye. As I hang up, I feel like my world is crushing into my skull and I desperately need fresh air. I think about soap operas. I have never liked that kind of shit. Oh I get it, if you don’t like it you have to live it; fair enough. I then remember...

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Day 78 – Picnic, coffee in my favorite cemetery and a bus ride

I had an amazing Sunday. It started out with a picnic at Villa Demidoff, where we ate a great lasagna made by beautiful and dear friends and lots of tramezzini, which we love, prepared carefully by yours truly in the middle of the night. We love going to this park and if you have a car you can use, I recommended for any kind of fun activity you would like to do outside; especially for reading a good book under a huge oak tree. If you are really lucky you can see the deer bouncing around the picnic area, only to disappear seconds after among the trees. After three beautiful hours spent chatting, eating and playing with our little monsters, we felt relaxed and ready to start a new week. As if that wasn’t enough fun, I went out with two of my creative friends,for them to tell me all about their non-creative activities and them being fabulous the night before; in other words constructive girl’s gossip. It was loads of fun, especially when at some point they decided to continue our gossip in my favorite cemetery. The view from the kitchen over the graves, which I could see while I was making the perfect foam for my cappuccino, the breeze coming from the giant cherry-tree just next to the terrace, the conversation and company was more then I could ask to finish off my day (except for those annoying mosquitoes, but even they were included in our conversation). I headed...

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Day 77 – After marriage comes divorce… or was it happiness?

Today I had a conversation with a good friend about all the people that get divorced and naturally the topic developed to couples who argue and fight. I already spoke my thoughts about relationships here, but marriage is a whole different topic. I am the kind of person who doesn’t believe in marriage (I know, I am married) and I think marriage is a mistake created by society that should not be allowed to everyone; also it’s only a very good tool for controlling the population. It sounds harsh and I can almost hear the whispers in my ear, telling me I am weird just to say that out loud, but I am so used to that, that I really don’t care (hahaha). I will push it even harder by saying that people shouldn’t be allowed to have children, without some serious psychological testing first. Why am I different? Maybe I’m not, but the thing is that if marriage would be forbidden, I wouldn’t care, I would still be with my man, regarding of any piece of paper or social status. To get back to divorces, I honestly don’t get why nowadays divorce is so common. I believe in true love and I also believe that love is not enough; you need friendship, communication and self-esteem. Imagine if I would want to be a surfer and he would want to be an alpinist; that would lead to some serious issues and also to a lot of compromises. And that’s...

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Day 76 – Some anniversary thoughts

Six years ago, I compromised and woke up early in the morning because I had made a promise to take someone else’s name that day, his name. It seemed like a beautiful, sunny day and I remember being extremely nervous, not because I was about to get married, but because I was terrified something would change between us (yes, I am the one with manly fears around the house). Seconds before leaving the house and heading to the City Hall, we stood in the hallway and exchanged wedding rings, just like that, simple and sealed with a kiss. We then headed to the real ceremony and said our recognized by the law “I do’s!”. There were no funny events that I could tell you about and no mixed emotions whatsoever. I could even say that it looked like a normal day, except the tone of flowers, the laughter and the kissing. Eight people were present to witness our official bond and after a nice lunch with them, we called all of our friends (they had no idea we were supposed to get married that day) and celebrated our own way: at home, with lots of alcohol, good food and crazy outbursts among good friends. They all showed up at our place and we greeted them with a shout: “Surprise!!!!” and after some serious hugging and kissing, we started dancing. Oh and the party we had was so wild, that the pictures and the videos got lost over the years; no proof...

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Day 75 – Another trip to the emergency room

I got to see some of the friends I made three weeks ago, today (if I can call them friends).  When I got to the emergency room, I noticed that everything looks very different when you are not in pain and you just have to sit there and wait quietly for your turn. You get to see the faces clearly, the place is much scarier and the cases that come in and out… well, they are not so pleasant to the eye. The first nurse passes by; she looks at me, smiles, says hi and I can see from her face that she is wondering where does she know me from. The second nurse comes in and gives me a look, while saluting and starts running to her new case. I begin to feel like a movie star in the emergency room (hahaha) and I also got the feeling that the other patients, who are waiting as well, hate me a little, thinking that I have friends here. No, no friends, it’s just plain luck that tonight it’s the exact same shift as three weeks ago. I see the “morphine” nurse. She passes by quickly, then turns back and grabs my hand: “Are you ok?” I nod and explain the situation and she starts laughing: “Well in that case, no more morphine for you girl!”  I begin to look at the people around me: a five months pregnant woman who has a terrified look on her face and keeps rubbing...

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Day 74 – Not a good day

I feel nothing. It’s like someone sat on my chest and pressed all the feelings away. But, that’s bullshit because I feel something. I am angry. I am angry with my body that keeps failing me again and again. I am angry at the doctors just because they know much more than they are saying. I am angry at the rules I have to obey to get by every day. I am angry that I have to wait to fulfill my dreams although I am ready now, yesterday. I am angry at my parents, because they didn’t know better. I am angry at some of my friends who are full of shit and pretend to be the best thing they ever happened to me. I am angry with myself because I lost a lot of time just dreaming and not doing, just talking and not acting, just understanding and not… and not what? I am bitter and I want nothing more than to enjoy my anger today and replace it  with some laughter and happiness tomorrow . Until then, over and out!

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Day 73 – A story about nothing

What would a story about nothing sound like? Many, many years ago, I had to take a simple exam that would have assured me a very nice job. I was the best of the best and I had to take a written test and then have a final interview with two prestigious teachers. I was so confident, that I didn’t even bother to check my answers after the written exam and it turned out I was right: I did perfect. The next day, the day of the interview, I wasn’t nervous at all. I just went in and patiently waited my turn, having a huge smile on my face that said: “I got this!”. On the chair in front of me there was a small guy, about my age, that was biting his nails and whispering something to himself. I said hi to him although I knew it was between me and him; he was the enemy. After ten minutes they called us inside and our seats were next to each other while facing the two teachers. The room was a perfect square and the furniture included four chairs, a table between us and them, a huge library filled with heavy books and a giant clock on the wall in front of me. That clock was to become my nothing. First we had to introduce ourselves and I did a better job than the other guy, but the clock kept staring at me. The next step was a round of questions...

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Day 72 – The kind of person I “used” to be

I seem to be a very different person than I was three years ago. That is not even a little bit true, but because I am more constrained by time and life priorities than back then, this seems to be the general opinion (even mine sometimes). Today, me and my better half took a ride down the memory lane and remembered one of my adventures. I had just moved to Florence and everything seemed to shape in a natural way: nice house, nice job, lots of free time and lots of Martini’s after work hours. After six months, I got a little home sick and just wanted to jump on a plane and spend at least two hours in my beautiful Bucharest. Of course you can’t do that if you have no reason at all so, I started spending all my free time, browsing the internet to find any kind of event that needed my attention and presence back home. I couldn’t find anything for a long time and a lot of Martini drinks until… my favorite band posted an announcement that they will be singing in a private club two weeks from that date. I was set and my plan was being forged; I waited for D to come home and informed him that I had to, I just had to go to that concert, that it could be my last chance to see them perform and a lot of nonsense reasons which I can’t even remember right...

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