I’ve been thinking a lot about this post lately. I abandoned the online environment for more than two months; two months during which I experienced emotions for almost a lifetime (at times more than I bargained for). I wrote less, and I worked on existing projects more. I planned my next steps. All done in silence and far away from the ‘social’ of nowadays. I disappeared, yet I never stopped.
I still think I’m not entirely ready to come back into the spotlight, but that’s not what pushed me to write this post. As I was opening one of my notebooks today, I found a paragraph that caught my eye.
July 2018
I feel the pain like knives poking, yet not cutting. I feel the sorrow of crying children abandoned in trash cans or buried alive. I feel the despair of the dying earth that feeds and cannot bear us anymore. I feel my own pain, ignored for the past three decades that eats through the adhesions I’ve created so beautifully.
Now, as I am getting ready to begin a new phase in my journey, as I am preparing to take the next steps and embrace whatever comes next, this paragraph seems far away, almost surreal. It’s fascinating how our inner self can transform, hurt, feel joy, reboot and remodel in such a short time. It’s incredible how much we can grow and fall at the same time. And that is why, today I had decided to celebrate the beauty of this year, the laughter, and the adventures, the hugs, and the people who brought a smile to my face.
After a while, things settle down and you can be honest with yourself again.
