This is a story that my friend, a corporate girl, told me a while back. Let me give you a preview into a typical bad day and implicitly how to hate yourself on that day without even trying:
1. If you are a working, busy girl, your alarm clock failed you in the morning and you wake up an hour late refreshed and well rested until you gaze at the time and jump out of bed, stumbling into the sheets and bumping your head into the corner of the door.
2. If you are not working then you are already tired when you wake up from being lazy every day, so your day will most certainly be a crappy one (that is what the employed people want to think and because they are a majority I will agree with them).
3. After 3 cups of coffee and no result in making your brain think, you give up and join the second floor or any floor’s “bitches” who are bragging about their new dog, fiancee, lover, sense of style and so on (you are a corporate girl if you didn’t realize that yet). You listen to them quietly as you smoke your fingers off, and occasionally you nod and smile thinking about how your self esteem got lower just because you are standing there.
4. You love lunch time (your alone time), so you can’t wait to get there, but just when you leave your desk you see that the alpha male colleague, that howls with his eyes every time he sees you, stands firmly between you and the exit door. You think of a quick get-away and remember that you can take the other way to the stairs so you almost fall running towards the escape route when one of the “bitches” next to your cubical screams your name and wants you to wait for her. She wants to share her “whatever” experience over lunch.
5. Your stomach is full, your brain is awake, your fingers are working that keyboard like crazy and of course the system shuts down. You turn your head and see madness around you. Tones of cigarettes and lighters are flashing in the air in the hands of their possessors that are trying to get to the door to take advantage of the unplanned break. You would do the same, but the alpha male colleague is already standing in front of you trying to make “charming” conversation.
6. Finally your working day is finished. You say your polite goodbyes to every guy/girl behind their cubical and head towards the subway station. Every bad memory of the day seems to fade away as you sit down and the subway carries you home while you glance into the phone to see what’s new on Facebook. But wait, it’s suppose to be a bad day so you receive a notification that says to check out the latest photos your ex posted. Your inner monster doesn’t resist the temptation, so you open the folder and of course he is on a round trip to Europe with his new too-skinny girlfriend (by the way you should lose some pounds, this is the only reason you are still alone).
7. You get home and just want to relax, drink some wine, forget all about this day but the phone rings and some friend you haven’t seen in ages convinces you to catch up and hang out in some pub; so you get dressed and run quickly to the place thinking maybe this could be fun. She is waiting by the bar and kisses you loudly on the cheek. She is the worst memory of yourself in college but that’s why you love her so much. She starts dragging you to the table and whispers in your ear she has a guy waiting to meet you (“a perfect guy for you” she says). It’s too late to protest and you almost faint when your eyes stop on the face of the alpha male colleague that stands up, reaches for your hand and smiles: “It seems to be faith.”
8. Needless to say that after two hours with that guy and 15 minutes trying to avoid his goodbye kiss, you are laying in bed thinking how can you get a medical leave from work for the whole year or at least until he is gone. You stand in the cold, on your balcony, with a lighted cigarette in your hands and wonder why are you doing this to your life, to yourself. So slowly an awful thought comes to you: “Am I a corporate bitch?”. You shiver at the image of the answer and because of the cold so you get in bed trying to think happy thoughts.
9. It’s almost midnight and you still can’t sleep so you turn on the T v and grab a bag of chips and some left over cookies from the other night (fuck losing weight, you had a bad day). You fall asleep with cookie crumbs on your cheek and you dream about forgetting to set the alarm clock for the next day (your subconscious is telling you the truth, you did forgot ). You wake up at 5 AM, sweating and heavy breathing because of this repeating nightmare, set the alarm clock and go back to sleep. Before any new dreams come and take you away, a whispered voice asks you: “How many bad days do you need before you understand you are becoming a corporate b…ch?”
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