It’s hard to be a grown-up, they say. It’s not as easy as you’d think, they say. Like any child, I wanted to grow up faster, to be able to do more, to not be conditioned. The grown-ups always looked at me and smiled, telling me that they are conditioned more than children. ‘There are more rules than you think, and all you have is responsibility and no joy,’ a family member once told me. I...
We face things. We set goals. We strive for more. What would we like to hear from the people close to us? There comes a time when even the most solitary human needs to be encouraged or know that he is being thought of by others. Depending on the moment and the set goal, each of us has different things we would like or need to hear. Those words often don’t match the words that come from the mouths...
“I hate hiking.” I stood by this statement no more than three years ago. Despite my active background, despite years dedicated to a professional sport, I believed a picture of a mountain top could be admired just the same without making an effort to walk up that mountain. I was the laziest person I knew. “I hate mornings. I hate new people. I hate moving.” I had a lot of...
A writer’s life is a constant carousel of emotions. We place our soul and thoughts on a silver platter and offer it to be dissected, judged, enjoyed, shared. A writer’s life is also a solitary life; most writers I talk to tend to lock themselves in a room and spend their time with their characters, building a new world. I, for one, surround myself by people, sit in a square and watch...
I’ve been thinking a lot about this post lately. I abandoned the online environment for more than two months; two months during which I experienced emotions for almost a lifetime (at times more than I bargained for). I wrote less, and I worked on existing projects more. I planned my next steps. All done in silence and far away from the ‘social’ of nowadays. I disappeared, yet I...
Today my eyelids cursed the morning sun rays who managed to sneak in and rest on my face. I took my daughter to school and hugged her, already missing her presence for the rest of the day. I had coffee with my husband and chatted about meaningless things because our brains were still not fully awake. I wrote a story about a loved one I had lost and took a stroll in the center to have coffee with...
We never hope for the best. That’s just a saying that screws up our entire emotional, co-dependent system. Hope for the best even when you desperately want to die. Hope for the best even when the world implodes. Hope for the best even when your whole being is just a piece of paper, all used up, written on and ready to be thrown into the trash. Why hope? Why not do? Do the best, be the best or at...
Fifty-six years ago today my father was born. Twenty-two years later I took my first breath as his daughter. Since that day I craved to understand and create a connection, more often than not unsuccessful, but that hasn’t stopped me from creating my image about the man who is my father. My father always appeared to be a wise man. He seems to be a giant that can pierce anyone with his gaze...
Today I found out that my grandmother died in June. In June, and I only found out about it today… I would have probably never known if I didn’t need to make a phone call and ask an entirely different thing. My grandmother and I never had that cozy, warm, grandma-granddaughter relationship. I remember her very little since I was a kid and we got reunited when I was 14 years old. We...
I woke up this morning with a buzzing in my ears. It was constant, like a baby’s cry that won’t quiet down until you are ready to commit to his needs and understand his plead. So here I am, a few hours later, sitting in a square on a sidewalk, writing. The buzzing stopped. The square is pleased. My fingers start dancing on the keyboard. What to write about I wonder? About the people...
