After a not so relaxing weekend and a lot of things hovering over my head, today I made a pact with myself that I will try to do my best and finish what I can, really fast. So, last night, I spent almost all my time trying to recover what I kept postponing; because there are a million things to do, I have only managed to get half way through, but still…
With two upcoming interviews, two more interviews left to record, a lot of articles to write, teaching everywhere almost everyday, a beautiful two year old and occasionally a husband, I have somehow managed to start a new project. Call me crazy, but I think I can’t live without having deadlines pulling my arms off until I drop. I love my brand new project, it’s just like a small infant who hasn’t even opened his eyes yet, waiting for me to model it, to protect it and strengthen it, so I can let it loose into the world. But babies are cute right? Everyone wants to see a new born baby and get that dumb smile on their faces, while squeaking like mice, even if we all know new born babies are actually pretty ugly. So, I won’t risk a lie from your part and show you my new born, but I am going to tease you with some small random chose fragments of it.
I am a photographer. My stories come from the suffering of others who are pretending to be happy in front of the camera for the first five minutes and then let their drapes fall at my feet and show me their truths, their passions, their pain. I only shoot dying people: old people, orphans, whores and sometimes sick people.
A couple of months ago I saw this movie where Meryl Streep had tongue cancer. She was playing with clouds of smoke and filling herself with pain pills because her tongue burned and I thought I would do the exact same thing if I got sick: smoke, drink, drawn-in self pity and maybe torture a bunch of other humans in the process of me going over to the other side.
Guess what? I too have tongue cancer and the irony of it takes me back to that movie theater and it stabs me in the center of my humanity. Do you want to know why I will develop cancer? Well, no puzzle was ever built with only one piece; you have to find every single piece and match all of them together. Just like the millions of pixels in a photo. So here are my first few pixels for you.