Ephia is not taking very well the fact that I need to stay in bed a lot. All morning she kept pulling my finger and asked me to get out of bed and come with her and all morning I had to refuse and tell her I can’t. That hurt almost as bad as the physical pain and there were a couple of moments when I just couldn’t see the disappointment in her eyes anymore and I just wanted to stand up and forget about all the medical advises.
When I finally got out of bed for my doctor’s appointment, the bus ride seemed longer than eternity and her office is just four kilometers away from my place. Everything seems longer when you don’t feel up to it and even the two hundred meters that I had to walk seemed like a very long hiking trip. Why hiking? Because I could barely breath when I finally opened the door of her office and I always associate not breathing well with hiking; no idea why. Anyway, an hour away I was back in the comfort of my bed and decided to face reality and find a solution to spend time with my daughter without having to chase her around all over the house like we usually do.
So, after a nice nap and ten minutes of cuddling in my arms, we told each other without using any words how much we missed each other. I then charmed her into coming to my room and sing with me while staying next to me in bed. After her walk, she sat next to me while I was watching a short movie where at some point two people had to hug every day for an entire month. What do you think this tiny human being did after the short movie was over? She hugged me for minutes in a row, not wanting to break the hug, softly caressing my back and pulling me back into our hug when she felt I wanted to get away. It was the best medicine one can ever have and really I don’t think anything can be compared with an innocent hug that a child has to offer; that is truly unique and precious. I somehow managed to keep her into my room and we spent almost the entire evening drawing numbers, naming them and singing “Twinkle, twinkle little star”. Oh, almost forgot, we had a dinner break and although all these last three days she refused to eat without screaming a lot, tonight, seeing that I will eat with her, she asked to be put in her chair and share my bowl of pasta.
I had an amazing evening, filled with smiles, love and why not a touch of happiness. I guess when I signed my running away from the hospital, this evening was exactly what I knew I couldn’t miss for five days. It’s nice to be home.