8.29 am It’s cloudy outside. Then why do I feel like my eyes have been blinded? It’s weird. I would so like a cappuccino right now. That’s all bullshit. You hate coffee; you don’t like the taste, the smell, or the look of it and cappuccino is your only social excuse of having coffee. You even wrote about how much you hate coffee. Yeah, it’s true. Let’s grab a glass of water. Oh this is so strange, me walking into the bar on a Saturday morning and ask for water and a roll; not even a filled with something roll. No, no, strange is the fact that every time I am in a difficult spot I need to use my brain voice as a defense mechanism to accompany me all day long(freak).
– Hey, Matte. Can I have an empty roll and a glass of water?
-Yes, I have to cut coffee for a while. (big smile on my face while he started giggling like a child)
-Guys, don’t go to the doctor. They will take every good thing away from you. A friend of mine went last week and he came back saying he can’t have bread or pasta anymore. I said to him: “Kill yourself!” Hahaha, no pasta!
He kept laughing while pouring the water into my glass, then he turned to me with a serious face and asked:
-Are you okay now?
-Yes, sure, I just have to cut coffee for a while. It’s not a big deal for me anyway.
I smile, turn around and leave, thinking that they are Italians; take away their coffee and pasta and they will commit suicide, at least some metaphorical ones.
The bus stop is empty. It’s always like that on Saturday mornings. I like emptiness, quietness, loneliness. Well, maybe that’s your problem. Ugh you again! Okay, here is the bus, let’s go! What if I feel sick? It’s so far away from home, I’ll be screwed. Shut your winning, you wanted this, now go along with it! You’re fine, absolutely fine. You are going to go in, teach those beautiful children and come straight home.
1 am I did it! Oh, they were so cute, I’ve missed them. I had so much fun, so it was really worth it. This was a real adventure! Brr, such an emotional carousel to ride this morning. It felt like the forbidden territory. Oh, here is my last stop! Will I ever get rid of this damn pain? Shh, no more thinking about the pain, just walk home and have a nice family lunch.
– Hey guys, I’m home!!!! Ephia come give me a hug! You see, I promised you yesterday I’ll be home in time for lunch; here I am! Uuu soup, that’s a real treat for lunch.
– Huc! Huc! my daughter screams while running towards me.
We had lunch, we played games, I even whispered her a story while putting her down for a nap. And then… shh, go to sleep now. Your story will end here for the day and maybe you shouldn’t tell anyone you broke the rules this morning. You might here it out loud and get scared.