Interesting day I had today. I had a beautiful morning alone with Ephia and although we didn’t have any coffee together or any of our normal rituals, we still had a great time together, walking around the neighborhood, saluting everyone we know on our way, shopping and talking about everything. Lunch was promising and I actually ate something I liked today, went right into the core of Florence to teach a new class and had a nice tea in a friend’s company. I don’t even have to mention the pleasant dinner and the playing with the midget, which is still going on, right next to me.
Everything sounds wonderful, except for the fact, that no matter what I have done today, the verdict of me going to my kidnappers again tomorrow and do the test I promised I would, hit me in the stomach like a knife every time I thought about it. I have tried to devise different plans to escape, searched different reasons for which I just can’t go, invented a couple of fake smiles and imagined all the things that can go wrong during the procedure. Couldn’t find anything; I just had to cope all the day with the image of something getting pushed down my throat and me being fine with it.
So, I guess this it. Sometimes you just can’t escape your prison, but I keep thinking I still have ten more hours to go until then; maybe I will eventually find a way. It seems so strange that after three decades of hating hospitals and everything about them, of never having more than a cold or the flu, now I am in the position of being everyone’s guinea pig. So, here’s for guinea pigs and their role into the world. Maybe I will find a secret escape door, or maybe I will find a totally different door, which…
