The circle of life is as wonderful as it is terrible. There is no beginning as there is no end. It just goes round and round again. The age differences between some of us sometimes become too obvious, they can either destroy relationships or bring people closer together, or there are those situations in which there is no age difference but a growth one.
What am I talking about? I have no idea either. Sometimes, when looking at the big picture, nothing makes sense anymore, and everything makes sense all of a sudden. The big picture doesn’t include anything material, not even your body. The big picture is only about feelings, emotions, cravings. Sometimes I look at my daughter and understand that nothing matters more than her warm hug and her arms around my neck. It’s only for a couple of minutes, but in that moment it feels like an eternity. Her eyes following my every move, her mouth trying to imitate my sounds, my husband’s smile from the other corner of the room, the feeling when we are together is all I need when nothing makes sense anymore.
I am who I am and you are who you are. No one can be something else than what they are supposed to. Someone used to say that to me many years ago and we had huge fights about those statements. Still, maybe he was right. Maybe you can’t escape yourself and the person you have created behind all your social masks. Can you? That tiny or massive person, sitting and waiting for you to wake up will be ready to kick and push you over the limits. And in the end nothing really matters. All the struggles, all those daily, insignificant problems, all that nothing to which we all pay to much attention to; everything… it’s all a distraction. And the circle will keep spinning, your time will run out and for a split second you will feel that warm eternal feeling that you have always craved for and you will just be.
