As the days go by, I feel compelled doing more things I don’t necessarily enjoy doing in order to get to the ones I love. By the time I get there I am exhausted and all I want to do is sleep or just watch a lame movie until… I fall asleep with popcorn in between my fingers. Another day goes by and I haven’t worked on anything I would have wanted to; and then another day and another.
Saturday morning shows her teeth at me and I wave goodbye to my writing for pleasure plans, knowing this will be a full-on day: morning with the kids, afternoon with teenagers and more kids before I finally get home. Exhausted. Still I love my job(s), so I pull myself together, try and stay awake while playing with my daughter and make plans for the evening after she goes to bed. When I finally see her in bed, all tucked in and quiet, my plans disappear and I crawl into bed, reminding myself that tomorrow is Sunday and time is all I have. Wrong again. Sunday is family day and Ephia’s afternoon nap barely allows me to finish up what I am compelled to do. Sunday night…pointless to go on, it’s just not happening. I have tried it all. Being more organized, trying to reserve certain hours of the day doing just that, sleeping less, sleeping more so I can sleep less the next day, you name it I tried it. Nothing seems to work. Sometimes I am convinced that if I would have a full time job I would have more time to do everything. I am sure I am wrong about that too.
So, I am left with eagerness. I am eager to find that day that will allow me to do what I want to do and maybe sleep more too (asking too much, right?). This upcoming week I have a new plan. I have my entire week wrote down and organized. Nothing can go wrong and I will try a new trick. Usually the more I organize things, the more they seem to get out of hand because of unplanned meetings and unplanned events. Well, it’s been decided, this week I am not going to allow anything to interfere with my plan. Let’s see if this time I have found the secret key to a successful week. Meanwhile tomorrow you will get to read the last part of the Childless mother story.
Have a nice weekend you all!