This week, some of my good friends have lost someone dear to them and I got to think about suffering. We each experience suffering on different levels, in different ways. We are created in such a way that every feeling we experience is unique.
We are born to believe that we are invincible and although we learn about death, although we experience it through losses of those dear to us, we still find a way to think that death will never touch us. Maybe in a way, this feeling of invincibility is what keeps us going, what helps us manage the pain and go on with our lives.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to help someone who is in that kind of pain. Yes, you can offer your help and support and that always helps a little, but pain is a solitary feeling: you cannot share it and even if you try, you can’t find comfort or peace outside of yourself. It’s your own being who needs to come to peace with the loss, it’s your own self who needs to acknowledge that this pain, that this suffering will not pass, will not be forgotten, but it will settle somehow in time.
I haven’t lost many people close to my heart, family members or friends, but the few I have lost, I still can’t stop feeling a knot in my stomach when thinking about them. So, no, the pain never goes away, but in time, as days go by, it settles somewhere deep inside of you and it becomes like a closed drawer that you choose to open from time to time, to relive the good memories you had with those people, to remember what they have taught you while they were in your life.