There is beauty to be found in the feeling of grief. When you are grieving because you lost someone dear to you, because that someone has died and you know you will never see them again, then your pain although excruciating, can be manageable. But what happens when you are grieving because you lost someone who is still alive, who you can see everyday, who you can touch but can no longer feel?
Sometimes you loose people, they move away, they choose different paths, you no longer keep in touch because of this or that. But I am not talking about those people, but about the people next to you, the people who are in your house or on your street everyday, the people who built a wall between your soul and theirs and you are left with nothing else but your grief and memories. What happens then? How can you manage that pain? How can you accept the fact that they look like the same people you used to love but they are nothing more than empty zombies when it comes to you? How can you accept that?
I have felt that sort of pain a lot of times in my life and it seems that this role will never abandon me, trapping me into a constant grieving mode. Over the years I have learned from the pain, I have searched for different ways to manage it, I have even tried my favorite method – ignoring it. Nothing worked. Nothing ever works, because when you love someone and they choose to build walls between you and them, your heart breaks into a million pieces.
There is beauty to be found in the feeling of grief. Taking the hand of someone you love into yours, knowing that they are not there anymore, hugging someone who is as empty as a deserted snail shell, hoping, begging the Universe for them to come back, kissing the forehead of a loved one who looks at you with empty eyes. Yes, there is great beauty to be found inside your grief.