Forty more days to go. Forty more days and I will have finished putting my life on the screen for everyone to read about daily. Just forty more days. As the days pass I think about my final post. I have so many ideas on how to write it that sometimes it feels like my head is going to explode; but there is one thing that needs to be said: this project has taught me well and made me grow.
When I decided to start this project, D discouraged me, telling me I shouldn’t start something that I cannot finish. We knew that this was going to be a very difficult year for us, so writing everyday about my life, feelings, principles wold have been an almost impossible challenge. But I was stubborn and against all odds I did it anyway. I wrote when I was happy, I wrote when I was sad or angry, I even wrote while having horrible depressions, I wrote in pain and in joy and that for me is incredible. At the beginning I refused to believe that this is going to be hard and to tell you the truth I said the words “That’s it! I’m done with this!” more than once, but somehow, everyday I gathered myself together and wrote before midnight.
Today, with only forty more days to go I am totally panicked. I am excited to finish it, to get it out of my way and move on with the other amazing projects that came into my life this year, but on the other hand I am scared, scared that I won’t be able to say everything I want to say in these remaining days. This project, this daily process of writing, this rush to not miss the midnight deadline will haunt me for many months after it’s finished (or maybe even years 🙂 ). So, bear with me for these final days and who knows maybe we still have more parts of my soul and mind to discover that I have probably kept hidden until now.