I could give up tomorrow. I could just pack my bags and leave everything behind if I would be given the choice. And there is always a choice. I would abandon this beautiful city that changed my life, the amazing people I have met, the house where my daughter took her first steps, myself. I have no feelings left to give.
I would do that starting now, but…I choose not to. Everyday I choose to love what I do and sometimes it feels like I am fighting demons bigger than me, stronger than me, but somehow I defeat them by the end of each day. Because loving what you do is a choice and not a given. You can call it destiny, you can call it vocation or any other mortal name, but in the end you have to make the choice, you have to decide what defines you. So, how does one do that? How does one wake up every morning and despite everything being against him, he chooses not to listen and to go on?
I don’t have an universal answer yet and maybe there isn’t one, but I do know why I keep doing it. If I would stop, if I would give in to all the obstacles, to all the demons standing in my way, I would have no feelings left to give. I would be empty. The things that define me would disappear, the things that I love would become a torture and although left with no obstacles to face, I would be stripped of everything that I am. I would be dead inside. So, no matter the cost, no matter the struggle, never give up making that choice everyday, because in the end it’s the only thing that allows you to feel for a split second what happiness is.