Day 339 – Choices

If you had to choose between an insecure heaven or hell with benefits what would you do? I am exactly in that position today. I have signed my way into hell with benefits and was offered the chance to see how heaven looks like; a beautiful, insecure heaven.

I have been given this choice many times before and I have always failed to choose the right thing. For some reason, hell with benefits always looked nicer to me and closer to the purgatory which I happen to love and agree with. Somehow, right now I want to take the chance on heaven and that scares me to death. Why the hell angels come to you only when you already have signed a pact with the devil? Where were they until then? Were they having a blast, drinking wine and looking at the poor bastard who was willingly choosing to sell his soul to a kind devil, just so that in the last second they would come in and tempt the same poor bastard with their divine truth and their unforgettable beauties? Not fair and also too realistic.

You know that feeling when your brain is burned out, when you feel you have nothing left to give, when you are so tired that sleep and relaxation become a precious treasure and then something extraordinary or traumatizing happens and all of a sudden you are Superman with brand new powers? Well, that’s kind of how I feel and it sucks. It sucks so bad that I wish the angels would have stayed to drink their wine and entertain themselves while watching me trying to be a brave Sisyphus. Oh, life! So annoyingly beautiful that I wish I could knock you senseless and shape you after my own pleasure before reviving you again.

Choices. Beautiful, insecure heaven or hell with benefits? That’s the question of the day. There are only a few minutes left until midnight and everything can change again. But remember, choices are always better than having none to make.