Day 80 – Ephia’s best friend and my never ending project

I spent almost my entire day concentrating on my daughter and trying to ignore everything that is wrong in my life right now. So, we woke up, washed the dishes together, burst into song while doing it and then got dressed to have our usual cappuccino at our favorite bar from around the corner. Ephia has a lot of friends on this street: the people from the bakery, the people from the tobacco shop, the people from the pharmacy and her favorite, the family that owns the bar, especially their son, the bartender. He is the kind of guy that every kid loves and he knows exactly what to say and how to say it. Because he knows and talks to her ever since she was hidden inside of me, he became her best friend and drags me every day to the bar, just to see him and give him the perfect smile and “Ciao!”. There are days when he is not around and when we get to the door, she begins searching for him with her eyes and when she realizes that he is not there, her lower lip starts to tremble, her chin gets pushed into her chest and then she takes my hand asking to leave the bar. Yup, that seems like real friendship to me.

The day has flown normally and pleasantly and it took a fun turn when we went out, downtown of Florence, just us girls. We had ice cream, starred at the buildings and the windows of the stores, walked hand in hand and finally said “Ciao!” to Duomo like a thousand times before we headed home. My plan of ignoring everything bad around me was going pretty well, but the day was coming to an end and after putting Ephia to bed, I needed to face reality: I had no computer to work on and I had no desire to do anything else but look at the ceiling and not think. Unfortunately when you make a commitment, especially to yourself, you have to drag your ass out of the depressing puddle and just go on with all the shit wrapped around you. So, I have reserved D‘s computer for an indefinite period and I spent almost the entire night transcribing for the third time the same thing. Yes, the interview that everyone is waiting for, is still being worked on; blame the bad luck that feels very comfortable as our house guest or better yet, lives guest. But you know what, there is something rather unusual about this whole situation. No matter how hard I try, I keep getting pushed closer and closer to the ground and I think I am pissing the hell out of something or someone because I refuse to give up. One more day to go and August can begin pouring his joys and happiness over my head. Be safe!