The end of my day was amazing. My Monday’s are always interesting and pleasant because of the writers group. Tonight’s meeting was intense and brought a smile on my face. I started with the end of my day because the rest of it was filled with random questions, that didn’t seem to belong to me. I found myself drinking coffee this morning, watching my daughter play in the garden, listening to these questions that kept popping in my head. I tried to stop them, but they kept attacking me so I decided to write them down hoping they will leave me alone.
What do you do when you are unsatisfied with yourself and everything coming your way? What do you do when your existence revolves around the things you hate the most, shadowing the ones that you love? What do you do when you can’t pretend to ignore the stupidity, that gravitates around you, anymore? What do you do when you know you could be the best but the powerful little people have decided that you wouldn’t fit into their world? What do you do when everything that you tried to build gets dirty in the hands of those who steal your merits? What do you do when your patience runs off like a damsel in distress and the only thing you are left with is regret and impulsiveness? What do you do when your body starts to fail you in the war against pressure and wants a black out? Should you pretend that you can start over? Should you encourage yourself saying that it is what it is and just move forward? Should you be content with only the fact that you’ve tried but it didn’t work out?
Thousands of questions with billions of answers but none of them seem to be the right ones. You will never answer any of them truthfully and you will always try to hide yourself in tiny details of the day so that you don’t have to face the question; or the answer. So, my day was about questioning everything and I swear sometimes I think I have little men in my head that keep bombarding me with a new challenge every single day. Let’s see what tomorrow will bring.