Writer In Florence Ela Vasilescu

Don’t get married and don’t have children


I say that a lot to people around me, friends and family who still haven’t found that annoying “the one”. I came to the see that although I clearly express my reasons for saying that, people immediately jump to the conclusion that I am unhappy or that my child gets in the way of me living my life as an individual. I thought I should shortly put it in writing and maybe this time I be clearer.

Why not get married? Because I am happy, and because I used to think that what I have is a must for everyone; but then I came to see that love and happiness is not something you get, or seek, or work on, it’s just something that you have to accept and not condition. Well that’s how and why that advice was born; people around me and people I came in contact with or why not statistics, say that marriage is just a thing that mostly kills happiness, that happens because you have reached a certain age and usually ends up in a bad break up or even worse giving up on what you believe in just to avoid loneliness again. Why did I do it, you ask. I did it because I liked his last name so much and also because society demands you to do it in order to take you serious and consider you a family. In conclusion I stand proud behind my advice and will always say: “Don’t get married!” because it doesn’t matter what that piece of paper says. The only thing that matters is that if, in any way, you are one of those many that question even for a second the man/woman besides you, it’s just plain stupid to do it.

Why not have children? Well, this is even tougher. Because the world we live in is full of shit, and because society constantly feeds you crap that you have to take in and digest; thus my thought is why ruin a beautiful, brand new human being, who is so pure and clean when he/she is born, forcing him/her to enter this cruel, demanding, and forced on regime that society everywhere imposes. Secondly because most people have children just for the sake of it; to supposedly leave something behind them, to fulfill themselves as a family and my ultimate favorite, to have someone to hand them a glass of water when they are old. I believe that children are individuals, and I believe that they should be treated as their own person, not their father’s or their mother’s. So why did I have one? Because she just popped up, against all odds, and because I made a choice to at least try to give her a piece of the pretend freedom I found in this world.

So, dear readers, friends and family, because I am happy with the choices in my life and because my principles are maybe a little more unusual than your average man, my advice will always be: don’t get married just because and don’t have children just to have something to ruin (get a pet)!

About the author

Ela Vasilescu

I’m a writer based in Florence, Italy.

Human nature inspires me, different cultures, traditions, folk stories and the differences which make us unique. Documenting stories is a privilege, a glimpse into humanity, an unforgettable experience, one which I embrace and honour every day.

If you have a story twitching in the back of your pocket, one that is ready to be told, shared and heard, chances are I will be ready to listen; so don’t hesitate to send me an email.

Add comment

Writer In Florence Ela Vasilescu